Does anybody

want to come with me tomorrow to wickenburg t5o give my horsey back to her owner?

I would ask Mackenzie, but hey, she hates horses. and rachel too. Soo... anybody feeling up to sit in a car with me for a few hours?

It's early

and it's late but it all comes down to the fact that it's them again, and i'm here.

Alone. Again.

Horse shows are fucking dangerous

My face hurts like no other.
I find fallign in teh warm up arena fitting though, beacuse i fell off one to two times a night every night i used to ride val... and i fell off twice.
:/

Ughhhh

t miss when it was the opposite of now. I need sleep. I don't want it but tomorrow will be long enough already. Sleep well losers. Blah!

I just want to slip into forever, your arms wrapped around my internally cold body. I miss you and how things used to be, not that they are bad now i jus

	As this week ends i am left feeling wonderful, and right now everything is all shut out. Please don't try to get in.

	I'm trying to block out too many thoughts to even be able to sleep, it's not even the ones about jeff and me. It's the ones about the end of this year, they are sliding under my mind and working me into some kind of unhealthly state. Even though i am feeling fine till i think of the thoughts of leaving aprende. Because it wasn't just a middle school, it was a long, long, learning experience that has made my life so much better. It has forced me to grow up faster, and made me find the true me. And everyone says how much they want to get out of it , but does no one understand that they will never get this time in there life back? The time when they were kids if none the less. Aprende has changed my life if it has done anything to me, and given me the best friends that i probably will ever have, and hope to ever have. Even though some memories were bad, they all end up where i am now. I like where i am now too. I will always miss aprende just as i still miss seventh grade to an extreme . I have random memories spilling into my brain of better times and i really need sleep.. I'm not a least bit tired though. Ohhh some one take cya this attack coming on. It'll all be okay. I'll be okay. I'll make it through. No matter what happens... I promise. Please let go with me.

Well,

I'm working on cheering myself up and i'm doing pretty damn well.
:D

Truth Be told

I'm really in a bad mood,
I've been sad this whole week,
It's another odd day.
I'm just so.. out of it.
I need something to cheer me up, which of course isn't right, because as i know i need to cheer myself up.

I don't know why i'm like this, but i know i can't write poetry in this state, becuse it just makes everythign worse, and i can't have an s&m. SO i'm going to just try to relax and figure it out on my own.

I would avet to say i did have control of my thoughts beforte but tehy seem to have broken out of my constrant, an dwe all know how bad of a thing that is.

Stupid me stuid me stupid me.
I gave them the key.

	School is so.. Un...

	I sit and remember the days that used to be. And now.. Now i sit here and realize.. That THIS year is almost over.. This year that i'll miss more than anything is almost done. I don't want the days to end. I'm gripping my phone so tight, because i know life is going to change drasticly next year and i don't want that. Everyone is soooo excited for high school and "can't wait" to get out of middle school, but can't you see what a good thing you have going? Ugh, jack and paine are going to brophy, and..

	I'm given new hope, and new thoughts. I'm off to bed, if jack reads this, sleep well. :)

	I'm so much more stable. More relaxed. I just talked a hour on the phone with jeff which was amazing. I'm texting jack now :)