My defintion of

the colors are different then yours.

And it's so good. i just want a song that'll pick me up off my fett and carry me around, light and carefreee. one i can cry to and scream too. because i'm so grounded i'm sinking, and it's a constant movign and no perfect place that i want to be in. I speak calmly collected and right when i'm with you. But my home is different then yours, my balancing act invloves more then yours, and now tha i'm sadly thinking again i have even MORE to handle. Even more days we're im just sad and tired, and sleepy. and more days where i can barely put my razor back away after i take it out. Where i look at my scars and wish i didn't have promises, and wish it wasn't such a WANT.

I just try to see a few years ahead to where i can drive. Where i can get out of the house and just let loose. IF you haven't been able to tell.. all my life has been for the last two years has been losing myself. Because i'm just tryign to escape my mind and my reality. That i'm a slut, i'm gaining weight, i'm not good enough for my mom, i can't suck in enough, i don't measure up, i'm not funny, i'm akward, i hate home, and just me. I've never been happy wiht myself, or where i am.

That i don't really belong anywhere.


Cut a a little deeper.
Push a little harder.
Scream louder.
Hit harder.
Run faster.

It doesnt matter what damage you do, it can be repaired. just keep going.



AND YOUR TEXTS JUST MAKE ME MAD YOU HYPOCRITE FUCK YOU AND ALL YOU'VE DONE TO ME THIS YEAR FUCK YOU FUCK EVRYTHING FUCK THAT YOU EVER MET ME



I hate you. I hate this. Most of all i hate me. and what a heel i've created out of it.


Ugh love you