i think i've finally beat my little depressive moments.
It was a really bad week in my head, and in my chest.
IO'm happy i'm over that.
Screw you PMSing to make me feel so crappy.
I'm thinkign i'll write a poem for miranda today. and jam out, finish rearrangign my room, sleep and do some more stuff, like text ZAK. hheeheh.
Alright, it's time tog o right now.
But i REALLY want a sleeeepoverr
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
I've been thinking
It's time for me to make a goal list.
I've decided. I need a to-do list this year, SO lets do this thing.
1. Buy a computer for myself, perferably a Mac
2. Get a new phone.
3. Find NEW music
4. Meet new friends
5. Improve myself
6. Take a pee
7.Make straight A's or atleast only get 2B's
8.Stay in a long realtionship
9.SEE BLUE OCTOBER AGAIN
10. Sleep a whole day away
11.Drive a car
12. Win highpoin in a western show
13. Win a highpoint in general
14.Find myself more
15. FInd direction in myself.
16. Be more sure of myself.
17. Be less inscure.
18.Make my own descisions.
19. Prove my my mom wrong about me.
20.Prove myself wrong about me
That's it right now. But, there will be more. I promise.
I've decided. I need a to-do list this year, SO lets do this thing.
1. Buy a computer for myself, perferably a Mac
2. Get a new phone.
3. Find NEW music
4. Meet new friends
5. Improve myself
6. Take a pee
7.Make straight A's or atleast only get 2B's
8.Stay in a long realtionship
9.SEE BLUE OCTOBER AGAIN
10. Sleep a whole day away
11.Drive a car
12. Win highpoin in a western show
13. Win a highpoint in general
14.Find myself more
15. FInd direction in myself.
16. Be more sure of myself.
17. Be less inscure.
18.Make my own descisions.
19. Prove my my mom wrong about me.
20.Prove myself wrong about me
That's it right now. But, there will be more. I promise.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
My head
aches.
I'm way way way too tired for my own good. AH WHAT IF I STOPPED FUCKING COMPLAING?!?
Alright, today was great, much better than yesterday. WAY better than yesterday. It was the first half day at Corona Del Sol, which is grand. Hung out with Laura, Zak, and Alex, which turned out to be way better than goign to Jeff's apparently, because Jeff was being stupid. I knew it would be better for the fact, i didn't feel akward in laura's house, and i just am more at home ther, while i've always been so.. soo.. unbelongign at jeff's house. oh, and teh fact, jeff wasn't there, and neither was steph. I like steph, just not when she's beign a bitch/ when jeff's with her, because he has some kind of crazy obbession with her. WEIRD. Next point, i was with ZAK. zakzakzakzakzakzakzakzakzakzakzakzakzakzakzakzakzakzak. Yeah, that made things way better. and the fatc i was with lauralauralauralaura.
I'm way way way too tired for my own good. AH WHAT IF I STOPPED FUCKING COMPLAING?!?
Alright, today was great, much better than yesterday. WAY better than yesterday. It was the first half day at Corona Del Sol, which is grand. Hung out with Laura, Zak, and Alex, which turned out to be way better than goign to Jeff's apparently, because Jeff was being stupid. I knew it would be better for the fact, i didn't feel akward in laura's house, and i just am more at home ther, while i've always been so.. soo.. unbelongign at jeff's house. oh, and teh fact, jeff wasn't there, and neither was steph. I like steph, just not when she's beign a bitch/ when jeff's with her, because he has some kind of crazy obbession with her. WEIRD. Next point, i was with ZAK. zakzakzakzakzakzakzakzakzakzakzakzakzakzakzakzakzakzak. Yeah, that made things way better. and the fatc i was with lauralauralauralaura.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Everythign they Write
Fits. Is perfect.
feel that it's hard enough to say goodbye
.I feel there's the water. Should I sink or dive?
An empty plate, fill up my sentimental morning star.
I steal the art of putting truth in a lie.
I still want the girl that reall caught my eye.
But, she lives in Oklahoma City, far away from me.
An empty hope chest.I quit the dope quest,
And remain independently happy.
I'm finally happy, happy, independently happy.
I deal with the fact that I've forgotten the worst.
I feel that my social behavior may seem somewhat unrehearsed.
Another page.
A sullen rage.
And I'll be back to my normal self.
I'm finally happy, happy, independently happy
.I drive to the edge of my considerate plain.
I apologize to the people I hurt on the way.
I wipe the slate clean.
I kick the daydream,
And remain independently happy.
I'm finally happy, happy, independently happy.
feel that it's hard enough to say goodbye
.I feel there's the water. Should I sink or dive?
An empty plate, fill up my sentimental morning star.
I steal the art of putting truth in a lie.
I still want the girl that reall caught my eye.
But, she lives in Oklahoma City, far away from me.
An empty hope chest.I quit the dope quest,
And remain independently happy.
I'm finally happy, happy, independently happy.
I deal with the fact that I've forgotten the worst.
I feel that my social behavior may seem somewhat unrehearsed.
Another page.
A sullen rage.
And I'll be back to my normal self.
I'm finally happy, happy, independently happy
.I drive to the edge of my considerate plain.
I apologize to the people I hurt on the way.
I wipe the slate clean.
I kick the daydream,
And remain independently happy.
I'm finally happy, happy, independently happy.
I''mmm happpyyy
Ohhh so happy.
Today wasn't suppsoed to be good, but my damn, i'm walking on clouds. I'm looking forward to next weekend, jack and i's great advenuture will happen(: and i'm at my mom's!
Well, nothign really new to report,, so i think ya'll should check out my flickr:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/saaaskiea/
Today wasn't suppsoed to be good, but my damn, i'm walking on clouds. I'm looking forward to next weekend, jack and i's great advenuture will happen(: and i'm at my mom's!
Well, nothign really new to report,, so i think ya'll should check out my flickr:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/saaaskiea/
Saturday, August 15, 2009
BaCk FRoM DeANER
With Taylor's parents. Taylor ditched us for a rodeo, ad her boyfrannnd DAN. Weird. ME and her both broke up with our long tiem boyfriends. and then got new ones. So odd
I'm tired as hell, no idea why, i've found i'm more tired when i don't get enough sleep then when i do. Ever since orme i've just been tired as hell. Not sure why. Hmm.. Oh well.
Tomorrow i have a national chairty league training, HOW FUN. not. right after CHURCH, my day is just a ball of fun. sigh, it'll be fien though, i'll text someone i'm sure and make it through. It's just a few hours. I've been in a way better mood just today and last night than i have been in a while, even this first week with zak being so.. nice. I should probabaly describe how much NICER he's beign then jeff ever was. it's great, don't get me wrong, i loved jeff. I really did. I love him as a friend now, but zak's just more caring. Less bitchy. And swwweeeter. heheh.
First of all, he walks me home. Jeff would never have done that for the life of him. He walks me to classes that are out of his way. He texts me ALOT, i barely talked to jeff at all after like the first few months of school, and by the end of us dating i barely talked to him.. ever. he's just more maturee, jesus christ. i like him better at first then i liked jeff. ugh, i did NOT liek jeff at first,
alright, alright this blog it's self is dedicated WAY too much to my love life. hahah. So, RIght now i'm on myface and spacebook. It's pretty rad, laura and alex broke up. how interesting. It;s kinda both sides issue though. so.. you know... Any whoo. I'm feeling really freakkking tired. It's outrageouuus. I really want to sleep a long time. but hey, when is THAT oing to happeen.
I'm finding life to be easier when i relax. so here i am. relaxing. but just wait till i stress out again. that's like the worst. or when i have trouble with my mom. Today feels imporant. Yesterday too. Only a few months ago, we were stayign up late after promotion dance. you know that? i was still with jeff. I was still straightening my hair every day, freakign out, and not carrying a tuba a around a field, not fishign for things to say, and definitly not knowing how to spell definitly. I don't really miss too much of it. Alright.. i do. alot. I miss Warnock, and sleeping in, and just everything. but i love where i am now, and how much happier i am now. This misisng will fade just like missing 7th grade did. and Dating jeff, it'll be okay, everythign always will
I'm tired as hell, no idea why, i've found i'm more tired when i don't get enough sleep then when i do. Ever since orme i've just been tired as hell. Not sure why. Hmm.. Oh well.
Tomorrow i have a national chairty league training, HOW FUN. not. right after CHURCH, my day is just a ball of fun. sigh, it'll be fien though, i'll text someone i'm sure and make it through. It's just a few hours. I've been in a way better mood just today and last night than i have been in a while, even this first week with zak being so.. nice. I should probabaly describe how much NICER he's beign then jeff ever was. it's great, don't get me wrong, i loved jeff. I really did. I love him as a friend now, but zak's just more caring. Less bitchy. And swwweeeter. heheh.
First of all, he walks me home. Jeff would never have done that for the life of him. He walks me to classes that are out of his way. He texts me ALOT, i barely talked to jeff at all after like the first few months of school, and by the end of us dating i barely talked to him.. ever. he's just more maturee, jesus christ. i like him better at first then i liked jeff. ugh, i did NOT liek jeff at first,
alright, alright this blog it's self is dedicated WAY too much to my love life. hahah. So, RIght now i'm on myface and spacebook. It's pretty rad, laura and alex broke up. how interesting. It;s kinda both sides issue though. so.. you know... Any whoo. I'm feeling really freakkking tired. It's outrageouuus. I really want to sleep a long time. but hey, when is THAT oing to happeen.
I'm finding life to be easier when i relax. so here i am. relaxing. but just wait till i stress out again. that's like the worst. or when i have trouble with my mom. Today feels imporant. Yesterday too. Only a few months ago, we were stayign up late after promotion dance. you know that? i was still with jeff. I was still straightening my hair every day, freakign out, and not carrying a tuba a around a field, not fishign for things to say, and definitly not knowing how to spell definitly. I don't really miss too much of it. Alright.. i do. alot. I miss Warnock, and sleeping in, and just everything. but i love where i am now, and how much happier i am now. This misisng will fade just like missing 7th grade did. and Dating jeff, it'll be okay, everythign always will
Little taste of
High SCHOOOl.
I love love love love love LOVE h-i-g-h school. All the people that don't know me, or anythign about me, feelign liek i really don;t have peopel in impress.(seems liek it shuld be the opposite right?) but, god i feel so.. great. Free. Adult. Mayeb it's my super duper long walks home, or that my boyfriend usually walks me home every single day(yay!) or close to it, makes me really really happy. I love havign so many differnet classes, and the busyness of the hallways. I lvoe that Zak meets me before 3rd period and walks me to my 4th period. and i love beign able to see all my friends. I just love high school.
I bought new clothes today! only 3 things, but i really liek them! red high waisted skirt, fake leather jacket, and this asssoomme shirt. i also have my bangs cut back into niceness by mackenzie, they were startign to look prettay bad.
I feel liek i haven't blogged abotu anythign good in FOREVER. so i'm tryign to think of all the postive stuff in my life. hahah. And that's what my blogger shoudl really eb about, postive stuff. yes.
Heheh, welll i reallly like Zakkkk. hahah, OoO, and marchign bad in fanstical. and in like 5 minutes o'm leaving to see WONDERFUL taylor UMLAH. and co. hehhe.
SO good bye, for now.
I love love love love love LOVE h-i-g-h school. All the people that don't know me, or anythign about me, feelign liek i really don;t have peopel in impress.(seems liek it shuld be the opposite right?) but, god i feel so.. great. Free. Adult. Mayeb it's my super duper long walks home, or that my boyfriend usually walks me home every single day(yay!) or close to it, makes me really really happy. I love havign so many differnet classes, and the busyness of the hallways. I lvoe that Zak meets me before 3rd period and walks me to my 4th period. and i love beign able to see all my friends. I just love high school.
I bought new clothes today! only 3 things, but i really liek them! red high waisted skirt, fake leather jacket, and this asssoomme shirt. i also have my bangs cut back into niceness by mackenzie, they were startign to look prettay bad.
I feel liek i haven't blogged abotu anythign good in FOREVER. so i'm tryign to think of all the postive stuff in my life. hahah. And that's what my blogger shoudl really eb about, postive stuff. yes.
Heheh, welll i reallly like Zakkkk. hahah, OoO, and marchign bad in fanstical. and in like 5 minutes o'm leaving to see WONDERFUL taylor UMLAH. and co. hehhe.
SO good bye, for now.
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