I'm no the shitty computer in eth libary though, so bitch next to me took teh one with the updated interface, acually i have no reason to belive she is a bitch, she just looked at me and laughed though. I think she's a bitch.
Today i went riding, i went expectiogn a lesson but was told to free ride, so i walked over to spirt and tacked him up with no problem this time. It was harder gettign on, he was frisky and wouldn't stand still. Tomorrow i have a group jumping lesson and i don't know if i can do with the embarssement. Really. God. Though i was utterly embarssed today, by myself, my horse and my mother who i am sure all the people at the stables think is a lesbian i left after riding feeling really light a happy.
I'm still tryign to figure out why i freaked out so much with the status and the only explantion is that i was look for something to get upset about and hurtle into a depression. No that i have realized this i am tryign to keep my chin up and move along.
I still have those worries, lots. I'm scared that once i am undepressed will he still love me? Even like me? He has barely known me outside of this dark hole i have dug, and i wonder if he would even care to give me a second glance when i am happy, and the sad thign is, if he didn't like me happy i would make myself depressed so he woudl still love me.
Is that a sign of true love or insainty?
Can you be insane if you know you are insane?
I wish that girl would get off teh damn computer.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment