Happy New Year

I guess.


Last night as the clock struck 12 here in the cold, green, Netherlands explosions went off at such a mass it scared me. Turns out fireworks are legal to the public to use, and they were allowed to set off these explosions till 2am. Not that it mattered much to me, i was awake till 2:30 reading. I had alot to think about, from teh way this new year hadn't started the way i would have liked it to what i am goin gto do when i get back, also i was tryign to decode my endless emotions and why exactly did i freak out when i read Jeff's status, and finally landing on Sara, how i wish to help, but not quite sure how. So, i read, and read, and read, Harry Potter's problems seemed easier, i did wish i woudl have thought to pack twilight or Lovely Bones. But then again, twilight hits way to close to home, i fidn it describes my life in a way i woudl ahve never thought, and well.. Lovely Bones is being held hostage. oh yeah, I WANT MY BOOK BACK MACKENZIE!

Having just logged into myspace i have a fuck load of messages, and i really don't know if i want to reply. Surprisingly i have one from Jack. It's funny that i find so much comfort in his presence in our group though i don't agnoligie it. He is one last reminder from my past, form 6th grade,a nd i find when i am with him i cna easly slide back into that naive person i was then. I replied to his message, damn i love him.


So, back to the point. I woke up for some un-known reason at around 7:48 here. 11:48 in arizona. I counted down teh new year in my head with my friends, i remebered the kiss i wouldn't get. The hugs i wouldn't get. The smiles i wouldn't see. I decided i needed to go to bed. So, i did.