What goes up

Must come down.
Hello, and welcome to Saskia's going to complian about her life blog.

OH MY GOD.

Alrighty, Zak and i broke up. I've officially lost all confidence in my maturity. and in affect i have lost alot of confidence in myslef. I actually hate how much i miss him. Because i miss him more than i missed jeff. I infact., missed what jeff and i were, while i miss Zak as a person now. He doesn't even talk to me. i don't thinki he's said one word to me directly since we've broken up. I'm actually really sad about the whole fact, and i really really reaalllly do miss him. and i WANT to date him still, because the fact is i don't date people unless i really like them. yeah. i really liked him. But am i weighing how shitty he made me feel? no. I'm not. I'm not talking about how we got in stupig arguments, and how the last week we were together i felt worse than i have ever felt. D: But all i can think is how i miss him lying next to me, and wrappign his arms around me, and him holding me. and him walkign home for me, and missing part of his lunch to walk me to class. and how i thought "hey, i could really love this kid". I miss how he made me feel, and how we were. but, hey.. life ,moves on. well, that's not what i'm thinking, but i have to say somethign right? i mean, i can't just let that take over me, it has for too long.

I'm havign to go to church today. then NCL, and then... ummm. tuba lesson. ugh. too much shit. then another week of fucking hell at school, and walking to classes by myself. So buh bye. No more angry mad sad ssaskia blogging for you :P