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Sunday, January 17, 2010

It's alone time

that geIts me down if anything does,
or just the place or doing nothing at all.
I don't know if that makes sense to you, or if it remotely cracks into your skull of frozen
too good thoughts,

i don't even care. I don't. i don't. i don't. i don't.


I want to tell you, how i miss you, and why i lied, and why i'm really not allowed to come.
and how it has nothing to do with anything,
and how it's worse then ever at home,
and i keep staring at my sissors and my razors
and i don't have anythign holding me back anymore
and how i love you
every last one of you

and i want to tell him everything, and i want to tell her everything
and i want to explain to her, how i really love him.

But no one would belive me that in a month i could say that. but it's true. And i'm too weak to say any of that any way.



I want to be in his arms everynight,
and i want to be less akward and away from people
i want to be less of a bitch
i want to be a better person
i want to be in better shape
i don't want to have a stomach anymore
i want to do well in school
i want to get along with my mom
i want to tell her that i really love her
i want to tell her i'm sorry
i want to tell her we really don't have to fight
i want to tell my dad that his drinkign hurts me
i don't want to be so angry
i don't want to be so emotionless
I want to just wake up pretty
i want to have my long hair back
i don;t want to beb so doubtfull on your ideas
I don't want to push everythign the back of my mind whenever it is slightly emotional.

Those don't matter either.


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