The Normalcy

is taking hold. I'm forming a defintion, and a shape to it, i'm also finding.. i am quite happier at my dad's some weekends. mainly the weekends i'm not allowed to do things. i think i'm off to explore the neighborhood tonight. it's rainy which means there will be perfect pictures. and tonight with or without you, i won't sleep. and oh well. whatever. i guess in all honesty it serves me right to be alone tonight.. i mean, of all people i pushed this little story into it's all honesty of a tragity. and by gone it. BY GONE IT. it was my... my horrible appendages that pushed that stupid domino into motion. My teeeeth hurt. just though i'd through that out there. and the song "i'm yours" just came on. that was jeff and i's song. bahhhhhhhhh wahhhhh. uhhh. i don't think i've had a song with any otherrr guyy. hhmm. anyway
I'm bored.
and you made me mad
but it's okay
because i've
got many many many
other things
to
do




tonight.































A blackout in the room again
a busted lip and broken skin.
I wake up in the bathroom and dare not bother asking
why the mirror's craked and all I see
are shards of glass inside of me.

There's voices there to dare me,
my father's here to scare me.
and My mother she sits beyond the door she's
curled up crying on the floor,
look at what her son's done.

When the weight of all the world's gone wrong.
wrong again.
Gone fucking wrong again.
Well liars they leave a guilty trail.
let me tell you I've been lying for years.
That must be why I'm standing in this space.
constantly over and over Im Disregarding that I've created these monsters
that are on both of my sides,
So I wipe the blood from both of their eyes.
From all four of their eyes.

And while I wait for wounds to heal
I see you by the window sil,
your heart's torn out
a plastic spoon
when honesty lit up that room so I stole the pillowcase to clean
this mess I've made of someones dream.
Now you've seen what I've done,

when the weight of all the world's gone wrong again
gone fucking wrong again.

This room is old and wise
and I fall onto the bed and wonder,
"How did I get here?"
I was a little boy who would argue with a tree
go ahead thump his head
he'll turn back to normal.

Now why is that what I see?
Don't bother trusting me
don't bother waiting
don't bother changing things that won't give into changing
just let me go away.
I'm packed down whenever.
Let's go.
Let's really really go.