Questions from a car ride

An i weak? Or am i making myself weak? Not normal questions... Not normal answers. I'm trying to find because this feels to good to be good. I like being weak right now, addict addict addict. Okay, so i have to stand up and figure this out. And the answer i already know, i'm making a big deal out of nothing. Or am i? It's a mixture i'm pretty sure. It's sickening in a way. It's my fault so i need to think this and fix it, which means no more me this, but i think one last night where i can go into all feelings and remember and feel everything them i must be strong. Love.